A Real Fixer-Upper

The house of this heart was a real fixer-upper.

A bona fide eyesore if you knew how to look.

Good bones, she had, but see?

Desuetude draped heavy on her,

shrouding windows, latching doors,

and in the darkness labored on,

devouring sinews undisturbed

’til only bones remained.

Can these bones live?

Within the shadow of this tomb

I scarcely dared to ask.

Once, in my ruined state, 

I had caught a glimpse of

something living, perched on the lintel 

and the warmth of that body so close,

thrumming with life

felt like resurrection.

But its living broke me more, somehow:

as I shuddered to life,

plumbing long silenced

surged and split, leaking everywhere

threatening what little was left.

What to do? I shut it off—

cut the main supply at the source

pulled the lever on my leveraged heart.

the rushing silence in that chamber

was deafening. 

It was like the silence of the grave.

What is True Right In this Moment?

What is true in this moment

is that I am alive and

there is breath within my lungs,

this sweet air with its hint of sharper days

on a horizon as yet unseen.

What is true is that

this moment will not be the end of me.

It is is merely one in a series

that together make up the painful fact of living.

And though my heart is breaking,

and will likely break again, and again, and again,

it will also keep on beating,

feeling,

and even, in God’s good time,

healing.